Maintaining a long-distance relationship can be challenging, especially when you and your partner live in different countries. The distance makes it harder to maintain intimacy, communicate regularly, and stay connected in your daily lives.
However, many couples make it work by putting in extra effort and getting creative about nurturing their bond. With some planning, commitment and the right mindset, you can absolutely have a fulfilling long-distance relationship.
Stay in Touch through Regular Communication
When you can't see each other in person regularly, good communication becomes even more important for staying connected. Set aside dedicated time for check-ins on a daily and weekly basis. Send text messages, chat on the phone, video call each other - anything to briefly catch up and share updates.
See if you can sync up your schedules to have longer weekly virtual dates. During these, you can play an online game together, watch a show simultaneously, cook the same meal, or just talk. Shared activities can help you bond and feel like you're spending quality time together.
Also try more creative communication like writing letters, sending postcards from your travels, compiling mixtapes, or making video playlists for each other. Find things that keep the spark alive.
Plan Future Visits
Having future visits planned out can help you get through the daily distance. Come up with a schedule for who will travel when, and start a count-down for the next time you'll reunite. Having even just a vague timeline of when you'll see each other again keeps you motivated.
If possible, schedule longer visits when you're in the same place - at least a week or two if possible. Short weekend meet-ups every few months helps, but longer visits allow you to really dive into living life together. Save up your vacation days accordingly.
Check your schedules and finances to figure out a reasonable visiting pace. Find destinations convenient for both of you, and split up the travel if needed so you both share the effort.
Nurture Intimacy from Afar
Physical intimacy is one of the biggest challenges of long distance. However, there are creative ways to foster intimacy from afar. Schedule intimate virtual dates where you dress up, and engage in foreplay over video chat. Surprise each other with gifts like lingerie or cologne you'd enjoy.
Watch intimacy or relationship building workshops online together. Couples counseling even works virtually if you want to strengthen your emotional intimacy. Prioritize this aspect of your relationship by getting creative.
Agree on Relationship Rules
Since you're living independently in different countries, establish some relationship rules to follow during your time apart. Agree to expectations around communication frequency, appropriate interactions with other people, future planning discussions, etc.
Having mutually agreed upon relationship "rules" and expectations can help you avoid misunderstandings or surprises that lead to problems. Be very clear about what you're both comfortable with to avoid hurt feelings or broken trust while navigating the distance.
Make an Effort to Be In Each Other's Lives
Even if you can't physically be together often, find ways to stay involved in each other's daily lives. Send pictures and quick updates throughout your day. Email or text funny observations or things that remind you of them. Have video call dates where you cook dinner together.
Virtually introduce each other to friends and family you're spending time with so you feel more included in social activities. Share calendars so you both know about upcoming events and obligations. Finding little ways to stay intertwined in each other's worlds makes the distance more bearable.
Discuss Closing the Gap Eventually
Have open conversations about how to eventually close the gap between you. This could mean one of you moving countries to be together, or both settling somewhere new. Discuss what timeline makes sense career and finances wise. Research options for immigration/visas.
Having an overall plan of how you'll geographically come back together down the road keeps you motivated. It reminds you this difficult situation is temporary, and helps you look forward to the future. Even if details are uncertain, keep the topic part of your ongoing discussions.
Long-Distance Relationship Tips
Here are some additional tips for strengthening your bond when faced with long distance:
- Schedule mandatory check-ins - Set reminders to connect at least once a day, and have weekly virtual dates.
- Coordinate long visits - Make the most of opportunities when you're in the same place. Ideal if you can get a week or two together.
- Alternate travel - Take turns being the one who makes the trip to see the other.
- Send gifts - Surprise each other with online gift deliveries just because.
- Make communication romantic - Flirt over video chat, send old-fashioned love letters, make playlists for each other.
- Discuss boundaries - Agree on relationship rules and expectations you're both comfortable with.
- Stay involved - Share photos, make cameos in video calls to friends/family, discuss each other's calendars.
- Keep the future in sight - Have hope and a strategy for eventually living in the same place.
FAQs About Long-Distance Relationships
Here are some common questions people in long distance relationships have:
How can we keep our relationship strong when we're far apart?
Staying connected through constant communication is key. Schedule regular check-ins via text, calls, video chats and be diligent about keeping up with them. Share updates big and small about your daily lives, thoughts, feelings. Virtual dates, letters, playlists and gifts also help.
How do we handle major events like birthdays or holidays?
Mark major events in your calendars early, and do your best to coordinate either being physically together or rescheduling work/obligations to be free. Virtual celebrations with good planning can also feel special. Order gifts, coordinated meal delivery, watch a show “together”, etc.
How can we nurture our intimacy from afar?
Make intimacy a priority by scheduling virtual date nights focused just on each other. Explore options like video intimacy, phone sex, exchanging gifts, or engaging in intimate online workshops or counseling together. Get creative!
How often should we aim to see each other in person?
Experts recommend seeing each other at least once ever 2-3 months, for a week or longer each visit if possible. Some couples aim for alternating who travels each month. Do what works with your schedules, finances and visa situations.
What are fun virtual activities for us to do "together" online?
Watch shows, cook the same recipes, play games like trivia or Words With Friends simultaneously, take virtual paint or dance classes together, explore new music, and more!
In Conclusion
Long-distance relationships can absolutely thrive with concerted effort from both people. Regular communication, intimate exchanges, planning future visits, and staying involved in each other's lives are key.
Creativity, patience and trust are required, but many couples successfully manage across country borders. With hope, strategy and commitment, you can stay happily connected even when physically apart. The distance is difficult, but temporary. Keep each other close at heart until you can be reunited in person.